Monday, June 2, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
How to Catch a Lion
Newton 's Method:
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.
If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion .
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.
The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark
room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears.
The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.
Send a lioness into the forest.
Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.
Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.
But 2nd lioness loves both lions.
Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.
You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!
Friday, May 16, 2008
Interesting Equation
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Therefore,
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that work
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ====
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend
Therefore,
Women - spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)
So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money
Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Full form of Top IT Companies
Full form of Top IT Companies
1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT
2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems
6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds
8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors
11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings
12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible
13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort
14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers
15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go
17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.
18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India
19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.
20. MASTEK: Mad And Stupid Technitians Enroute to Kabaarkhana
21.PATNI : Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments